Cutting Ties

I have been sitting on this topic for a while because I wasn't quite sure how to address it.

I have to say good bye to a friend.

I have to call it quits with Oliver Perez.

Once my favorite headcase.

Once my favorite Met.

Now, we are nothing.

It hurts to write these words.

There was a time when I looked forward to nothing more than watching Ollie P. pitch.

There was that game, April 11th 2007 against the Phillies where you walked 7 Oliver, and I made excuses.

May 23rd of this year, you walked 8 at Colorado. Oliver you are a major league pitcher and you walked 8 batters.

to add a little perspective, Johan Santana has walked 21 batters all season. Oliver, you walked more than a third that many in one outing.

April 30th of this year, 7 runs, 1 2/3 innings pitched against Pittsburgh.

And then there was the June 2nd massacre in San Francisco. The same San Francisco that I, the baseball savant, cannot name 8 players on their roster.

The game where Oliver Perez did not get out of the first inning.


I used to think you were quirky and entertaining. I used to think it was awesome how you leap over the foul lines.

I always suspected that you were a bit dim witted. That your left arm and snaggle tooth, not your superior brain power, had gotten you to this point in life.

Now I realize, you are simply an idiot.

And I am done with you.

Luckily for you, you are not the only one. I have basically stopped watching the Mets completely. I simply have better things to be doing with my time right now.

Good bye Oliver, and good luck with that next contract.